Just some thoughts

I haven’t been explaining my thoughts well this past week…so I’m going to try and do it now.

I’m so thankful for the relationship we have.  You push me to do things that I normally couldn’t be convinced to do, and people rarely have done that in my past. Sometimes, just a few words from you can make my whole day. I love how important your family has become to me. I am constantly blown away by the guidance you give me, and more importantly, by the fact that I actually take what you say to heart :). I love the times when your emotions pour out of you, and they actually happen more than you like to believe. Most of all, I love that you have become my best friend, and someone that I feel comfortable telling anything/everything to (even if you don’t want to hear it, or it’s a little too much information).

That being said, I really am sorry for having another “crazy girlfriend” week.  I can’t explain what was going on in my head, but I’ve been unbelievably stressed about work and worried about what the future has is store for me, and I’ve let my mind question every little thing.  I started to think about the fact that you’re the only guy that’s ever really had the power to hurt me, and the thought was terrifying.  This week, I let that thought spiral and it  made me miserable. I don’t even know why I was thinking about it.  Maybe because I’ve been really pessimistic about my current situation, and just expected things to get worse instead of better-which is obviously a terrible mentality.

I know I have a lot to work on. I just hope you know that I hate the way I’ve acted the last few days and hope we can look past it. I love you more than you know, Jason Houze. Thank you for being my best friend. I can’t wait to finally spend Valentine’s day with you.